Meltdown at Rocky.

Rocky Raccoon 100M
Huntsville, Tx
6 Feb 2010

Getting into the race, i was feeling real good and happy. Some where mid way through loop 3, i started disintegrating & was in tears (no shame in mentioning it) during the inner dam aid station loop. I completely lost the drive to run - no focus whatsoever. The passion to run evaporated leaving a big empty trough deep down in my heart and mind. Questions kept popping my mind - probably right questions, wrong timing though. I was helpless so were my friends who were around me. With whatever little running experience i have i am akin to enduring pain. But enduring pain without drive/passion....i was clueless, i am still - even as i post this. I decided to stop at end of loop 3. Most worrying part is I was not even sad about the decision.

Bottom line, i did not get through the finish line.

Approx loop splits
L1 - 3.30 Hrs
L2 - 4.30 Hrs
L3 - 6.00 Hrs

Its the first time i am going through this (feels crappy) & just hoping this is the last time. I badly wanted to finish this and get the stone but looks like i have to wait for a year. Ironically, my fortune cookie message from my friend before the race read - "You will never find happiness if you do not conquer your own doubt"

Probably the best way to deal with this is "everything happens for good" attitude & try to get back my mojo. Earlier its better, as i have summer to spend in Hardrock & Wasatch - my big dawg is going there.

PS: Thanks to my buddies who tried to get me going to reach the finish line...sorry - but will not disappoint next time around. & yeah, thanks for all the inquiries over phone, that was thoughtful. Cheers